Do you ever feel like life is crashing down upon your head?

Everything thing that can happen – does!

I’ve had a month of that which is why I  have been away.  But being around others experiencing the same crashes got me to thinking about how differently people handle the same situation.

Some people fall apart.  Others are stoic and you feel they have no emotion.  Then there are those in between – you know they are upset but they are able to handle it.  And also, you have the ones who have to “hold it together” in order to support those who are falling apart.

Which one are you?

My 43 year old nephew recently died, quite unexpectedly.  I became the person who held herself together in order to support his mother who, quite understandably, did fall apart.  But in the process of supporting her, I seemed to keep too focused on “what had to be done.”  Now that some time has passed I realize that holding back my grief and crying was not good for me.

So why are we all so different?  Obviously, as is often the case, the answer may lie in our past.  We have all had different experiences and different role models in this area.  Perhaps Jane’s mother was highly emotional so she learned to be the opposite.  Or maybe she had a greater connection to her mother by joining in and experiencing that emotional bond with her mother.

Mary was taught to NEVER show any emotion at a great cost.  Her family was stoic and always presented themselves to the world in an “all is wonderful with our family” picture.

And then there are all of those in between – knowing how to show emotion without losing our emotional balance.  So is this group more “emotionally balanced” than the others?

I think not.  I think we all must do what is comfortable for us.  But we all must allow ourselves the time to grieve.

Until next time – on a happier note!

Jeanene

Life is so complex!  We are always dealing with the stress that life brings us.  One of those stressers is STUFF!

How much stuff do you need?  How much stuff do you have?

Stuff takes up an inordinate amount of our time and energy.  Once we purchase it and bring it into our homes, we must then maintain it, insure it, store it, and eventually dispose of it.  Wow – that is a lot of energy used up on having stuff.

I could go the whole route here of cleaning out.  Make your three piles – trash, give away, and must keep.  But I imagine most of you have read those articles before.  So I will leave the cleaning out to you.

What I suggest is that you stop bringing stuff into your life.  Here are a few rules that might help you:

1.  Only bring a material item into your home and your life if you are convinced that you absolutely love it and want to keep it until it is beyond repair.

2.  Make sure that you are willing to invest what is needed for maintenance, insurance, and storage.

3.  Use the “one in – three out” rule.  When you bring one item into your home, three items must leave.  Some use the number five or seven.  If you are just beginning this thinking, you may need to use the one rule.  Bring one thing in – take one thing out.  This way you are replacing and not adding to your stuff.  If you can get up to seven things out for one thing in you will be on your way to a much simpler life.

4.  Remember that these rules apply to your closet, too. 

5.  If you are of a certain age, do your children a favor and clean out your stuff so they do not have to.  They will love you for it!

Just a few steps to get you on your way to a simpler life.  With less stuff to deal with, you can expand your life and become who you are rather than a person tied down with stuff.

Give it a try.  Let me know of your success by leaving a comment.

To a simpler, stress free life!

Have you ever failed at anything in your life? Of course! Everyone has at one time or another. Failure is difficult. What you do with it is what is important.

Do you know that we often need to fail in order to succeed? No one I know goes right into a project and gets it right the very first time. Success is the result of trial and error. That means failing along the way.

However, if you stop at that first or second or even third failure, how can you be sure that the next time would have also been a failure. Maybe that is the top you would have succeeded. Sometimes we need to work at something many times before we are finally successful.

So don’t despair. Everyone fails. And those who fail, but persevere will succeed.

Here’s a great video to remind you of all of this! Think what our world would be if these people had stopped after their first defeat.

I was just sitting here thinking about what to write today.  I’m feeling rather down about several issues in my life.  One of those would be the continued cold weather and overcast skies where I am sitting!  When that happens, I always remember my Mother saying, “Life isn’t fair, you know.”

Well, of course, we all know that!  But why isn’t it fair?  Why can’t those of use who go along minding our own business, doing what we are supposed to do, and helping others in the process, live a charmed life?  Who asked for things to go wrong in their lives?

I didn’t.  Did you?  Did  you ask for the housing market crash, or the failure of the banks, or the divorce, or the death of someone near to you, or the disabled child, or anything else that you got but did not want?  No, you did not.  But still, you must deal with them.

That really is the issue.  When life treats us unfairly, what are we to do?

Some people go into a rage and blame everyone else – never accepting responsibility for their part.  Others sit back quietly and slip into depression.  Others accept what they are dealt, deal with it, and move on.

And that, of course, is the best answer.  But how do those people do it?

One possibility is that they are taught that behavior.  They learn it from observing other people and their reactions to life; they learn it from being told to “suck it up and get on with it” all of their lives; they may even have a more balanced chemical make up to give them the where-with-all to deal with life.

So what if you did not get any of the above?  Is it hopeless?  Absolutely NOT!

Everyone can change.  Everyone can learn to deal with the stresses of life.  One of the secrets is that you have to WANT to deal with them.  You have to ACCEPT they are part of life.

Observe those around you and watch how they react to life’s situations.  Find someone with a positive attitude who always seems to survive without letting it get him down.  Talk to him.  Ask if he will mentor you and help you to change your attitude.

Changing your attitude about what happens to you in life is one of the most difficult steps you can take.  But tell me, do you really enjoy wallowing in the depths of unfairness?  Is that really how you want your life to be?

Life is your choice.  How you deal with what comes your way is also your choice.  Think about that next time something that you do not like happens to you.  How will you choose to react?

You create your own life by making your own choices.  Make good ones!

Does Hypnosis Work?  A Resounding YES

Many people are skeptical of hypnosis and what it can actually help you change or accomplish in your life.  I’m guessing they are skeptical about alot of things.  Mostly, though, I think they are afraid of change, of someone (the hypnotist) discovering some deep dark secret about them and then telling the world, or afraid they will lose control of who they are.

You may ask how I know that hypnosis works.  I am a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and I have not only seen it work on others but I have experienced many good things from being hypnotized.

How Does Hypnosis Work?

So how does hypnosis work?  In a nutshell, you should understand that the subconscious mind is more powerful than you can ever imagine.  It is so powerful that it has stored everything that has ever happened to you, everything you have ever heard, and everything you have ever said and felt – whether or not you think you really remember them or not.  All of our past events and information have an effect on how we live our lives, our fears and phobias, the level of our self-esteem, our ability to develop and nurture relationships, and so much more.

Often times we end up with negative behavior or feelings because of something stored in our subconscious mind.  Unfortunately,  we usually are not aware of the connection between our issues today and how they are related to something from our past.

This is where hypnosis comes in.  Hypnosis puts you in a relaxed state so that you can access your subconscious mind.  With guidance from a trained hypnotherapist, you can search your subconscious and find some of the destroying emotions and past events floating around.  You are then guided to examine these negative feelings and relate them to your issues of today.

The result is that your “instinct/response” changes.  If you were hypnotized to stop smoking, then your instinct changes.  You no longer have the desire to smoke.   If you were hypnotized to deal with your fear of spiders, then your response to seeing a spider will change for the positive.

How Can Hypnosis Heal?

People have changed their lives through the use of hypnotherapy.  They have discovered why they constantly jeopardize relationships.  They have learned why they can’t speak in public and have conquered it.  They have come to understand why they are shy, or a bully, or a procrastinator, or a perfectionist, and so on.  Hypnosis has helped people to lose weight, stop smoking, stop biting their fingernails, lose their fear of heights.  The possibilities are truly limitless.

Experience Hypnosis

One way to experience hypnosis is through recorded CD’s.  Many great ones exist and are available on the internet.  I recommend you check out Hypnosis Downloads.com.  (Their ad is on the right if you want to click on that.)  The owners of this site have an amazing assortment of topics.  They are very professional.  I think you will be pleased by what you find there.  Downloadable mp3′s and CD’s are available on most any topic.  Start with one – even if it is just learning to relax and reduce stress.  You will be surprised how great you feel after listening.

Of course, you can also look for a hypnotherapist in your area.  I recommend you find someone certified and listed in either the American Council of Hypnotist Examiners OR the National Board for Certified Hypnotherapists.  You can Google either one to find their listing.

Does Hypnosis Work? You should try it and find out for yourself.

What are you beliefs about hypnosis? Click the “comments” below the post.

Thanks, Jeanene

I just published a post on Gratitude and asked you readers to participate and I truly hope you will.

Then I remembered my friend’s daughter who is today donating a kidney to someone who would soon be on dialysis and likely die if no kidney became available.

This is a touching and uplifting story.  She has written her feelings and the process on her blog.  Go read them.  You will be amazed at this young woman and what she is doing.

My apologies to those of you who are actually reading this blog.  I have not posted for many days.  Did some traveling and then a lot of catching up and am now ready to pick up here where I left off.

Have you ever given someone advice and then found yourself not taking it?

I find myself stuck in the Winter Doldrums.  I advised everyone in my last posting how to get out of them.  And yes, I am doing some of those things.  But today I am feeling a little down in the dumps as more winter weather is headed my way for the weekend.

So I decided it was time to stop being crabby and start being grateful.  I hope you will join me by adding your gratitude comments.

First of all, as most people say, I am grateful for my family.  It is rather small.  I live close to my daughter and she is there when I need her.

I am grateful that I have a nice place to live, can afford to pay for it and the heat and water.  So many people are without.

I am grateful for Dove dark chocolates.  They really do soothe my soul.

I am grateful for my dog Lily.  I’ve had her a little over a year – never having had a dog before.  She gives always – without question.

I am grateful for my sense of humor.  I find laughing at myself and my situation is far better than crying.

I am grateful for my ability to play the piano.  This is something I share with others but also draw much fulfillment for myself.

I am grateful for my health.  Yes, I have some things not quite right, but on the whole I function and live quite well.

I am grateful for my friend Sonja.  She is very special and though she lives far away, we talk often on the phone.  Actually – make that laugh often on the phone.

I am grateful for Elmo.  His laugh is infectious.

I am grateful for a cup of good, hot tea.  That is very calming for me.

I am grateful for African drumming and the way the rhythms make my body move.

Now that I am writing, this list could go on forever.  Gratitude is a great thing.  Once you bring forth the feelings of gratitude, they seem to expand.

It’s your turn.  What are you grateful for?  Tell us about your gratitude in the comments section and I’ll see that they get posted.

Lily

Oh yes, I am very grateful for you, readers.  I’d be even more grateful if you would share my blog with your friends.

Thanks so much,  Jeanene

If you live in an area where winter is really winter, it is possible that too many cold, dreary days can put you in a really bad mood.  In fact, it can really take us down into the dumps.

No one likes bad moods, but more than that, no one wants to be around YOU when you are feeling down.  A bad mood can quickly bring you and everyone around you down a dwindling sprial.

So, what to do to break that bad mood?

Try one of these simple ideas to turn your frown upside down:

1. Get dressed. That’s right. Get up, take a shower, put on some nice clothes and gussy yourself up to the nines.  Well, maybe not to the nines, but at least clean yourself up and put on some decent clothes!

* Studies have shown that your mood has a lot to do with your self-image. How different do you think your self-image is between a just-rolled-out-of-bed look and a ready-to-hit-the-ground-running look?

* By getting dressed and doing what it takes to make yourself look good on the outside, you will feel better on the inside. When you feel better on the inside, your mood changes significantly and you’re ready to face the day.

2. Get moving. Exercise releases hormones that help alter your mood. Cleaning your space gets you moving and makes you feel better about your surroundings. It doesn’t really matter what you do; just get up, get out, and get moving.

* Many times your bad mood can be amplified by your lack of movement. Getting up and doing something, whether it’s exercising or even walking over to the nearest coffee shop, can give you a big mood boost.

3. Read a book. Reading a book takes you to a different place and allows you to step into someone else’s shoes. Why not pick up a book by your favorite author and let them transport you out of your bad mood for an hour or so?

4. Meditate. Deep breathing exercises and a focused mind can break you out of any sour mood. Remember back in grade school when you were taught to take deep breaths and count to 10 when you got angry? It was actually for a very good reason.

* When focusing on one thing and breathing deeply, our bodies tend to respond in a positive way by relaxing and releasing tension.

5. Hang out with friends. What are friends for? Be around any of your good friends for any length of time and you’ll be snapped out of that bad mood so fast you won’t even know what hit you.

6. Laugh. There’s no possible way that you can laugh and stay in a bad mood. It’s proven that your emotions follow your actions, which is why many therapists recommend taking action to cure things like anxiety and stress. Next time you’re in a bad mood, try laughing.  Someone said it – Laughter is the best medicine!

* I guarantee that you can’t stay in your bad mood after more than 5 minutes of continuous laughter!

7. Treat yourself. Do something just for you. You deserve it anyway. The key is to just go a little overboard and do something you wouldn’t ordinarily do. Have fun with it and make it memorable.

* Go shopping for one of your favorite articles of clothing and splurge a little if you can afford it.

* Have a massage or spa treatment. Similar to the meditation, this is a great tool to relax and break you out of whatever might be dragging you down.

* If you’re short on funds, go dream shopping. Go to one of the most expensive stores around and try on clothes or go test drive your dream car. Give yourself a reason to get back into the swing of things and get rolling again.

* Get a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge.

While there are many other ways to shake yourself out of a bad mood, these are a few great ways to start. Try some of them next time you’re feeling down. Better yet, see how many of them you can make it through before your bad mood has completely vanished.

My guess is you might only make it to the second tip, then you’re just doing it because it’s fun!

***Need a little extra help?  Check out Brad Yates.  He has a great way to get your day started! Click Here! ***

Related articles:

• 3 Tips To Get In A Great Mood Quickly (busylivesmadeeasy.blogspot.com)
• About Laughter (entrepremusings.com)
• Don’t forget to laugh! (blisstree.com)

Procrastination Demon!

Readers: my friend Ronnie Nijmeh sent me this article about Procrastination.  I’ve been putting off using it.  Yes, I am a procrastinator.  The advice is really good.  The problem is that those of us who are true procrastinators already know these rules and ideas.  For some of you they may be new.  That is why I decided to publish them.  I have previously written about procrastination and some of the other issues surrounding it.  Be sure to read this previous post.

Procrastination Avoidance Tips

Did you ever feel like you wanted to join the Procrastinator’s Club, but never quite got around to it? At some point in time, procrastination plagues us all, some more than others, but everyone at some point gets a bite from the bug.

We’ve all heard the quote, “Why put off till tomorrow what you can do today?” For some of us, this is the only motivation we need, while others struggle with putting things off for weeks, months, or even years.

Procrastination doesn’t have to be a way of life for you; you can overcome it. With a little focus and the right attitude, coupled with some practical tips and techniques, procrastination can be a thing of the past.

Here are five strategies you can use today to help you bite the procrastination bug back:

1. Set small goals. Many times, we feel overwhelmed with a task, so we continue to put it off until we have no choice but to complete it.

Now throw on all the new projects we received while we were putting off the first project, and you have a prime equation for some serious procrastination.

Setting small, quickly achievable goals can help you avoid procrastinating in the first place so you don’t get overwhelmed. Here are some tips for setting those small goals:

* Break your big project up into smaller steps. These steps can be completed systematically one at a time. Make sure you have well-defined end points for each smaller goal. That way you have something to keep you going.

* Setting small goals provides you a nonstop feeling of accomplishment as they’re attained. With each individual success, you feel better about yourself, and this motivates you to continue.

* Giving yourself break points allows you to focus on each individual task and takes the overwhelming feeling out of the job. In addition, they give you a prime place to get up, move around, and refresh yourself for the next step.

2. Avoid distractions. We all do it. We sit down to start working, but have to get back up and grab some coffee. Then we sit back down and check email, then voice mail, and then email again just to make sure no one sent a message while we were checking the voice mail. How long did that take?

* Try checking your email only twice a day instead of every 5 minutes. You need to have some time to focus!

* Get everything you want, need or think you need before you sit down to start working so you can concentrate.

3. Delegate. Start giving some of your responsibilities to others instead of hogging them for yourself and creating more stress. Stress leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to tight deadlines, and tight deadlines lead to more stress; it’s a vicious cycle.

4. Keep a list. A constant reminder of the things you absolutely need to do is a great way to avoid procrastination. A small pocket notebook or even a note card works wonders for list keeping.

* Keeping a list puts your daily to-dos in front of you at all times for quick reference.

* Include your small goals on your list. Get started early each day completing those small, easy goals. Doesn’t it feel great to scratch through the things you’ve completed? Before you know it, the whole list is marked off!

5. Turn it off. When you’re done for the day, shut down everything work related. Don’t take it home if you can help it. Turn your brain off at the end of your workday. By giving your brain a break, you help avoid over exhaustion and keep your mind fresh for the next day.

* Spend some time doing the things you love to recharge your batteries for the next day.

Pick one or two of these techniques and try them out for three weeks. Studies have shown it takes 21 days to form a habit and if you truly want to beat procrastination, you have to make productivity a habit.

When you’ve made a habit of one of the strategies, pick out another one, and before you know it, you’ll be the personification of productive!

To Your Success!

Readers:  This time of year – well, make it any time of year – we all struggle with goal setting and deciding what is a priority.  It is important to “let some things go.”  This is difficult, I know.  Here are some affirmations with a few questions to keep you working on this issue.  Success to you!

Affirmations:

I do not cling to less important priorities.

Because I am clear on my goals, I do not cling to less important priorities. I recognize that, like everyone else, I have limited time, energy and resources. I let go of the idea that somehow I should be able to do everything.

I keep my focus on my objective, and distribute my time based on three priorities: family, rest and rejuvenation, and my goals.

My family comes first in my life, and I set aside time to nurture them and my relationships with them.

My relaxation activities are also important. While they may not seem that essential to others, I know that my level of productivity depends largely on my own opportunities for rest and creative expression, so I make those a priority as well.

With the rest of my time, I choose to engage in activities that help me reach my personal and professional goals and let go of everything else.

Whether it’s a conference through work or a bowling night with friends, I filter each possible activity and expenditure through my priorities and make my decisions accordingly.

I am clear with others about my priorities and availability. I let go of all guilt when I choose to decline an activity because I am confident that I have the big picture in mind and I am making a positive choice for the long run.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Am I clear in my own mind about my goals and priorities?
2. Do others understand my goals?
3. Do I need to give up an activity that has been draining my time for no reason?